- Previously on Warehouse 13...
- Claudia Donovan,
You're the breach.
- Knock, knock.
- You're going with Myka as a backup.
- My first official assignment as an agent?
- As an apprentice.
- I'm ready to begin my apprentice education.
- You want juice, or are you a milk person?
- You know what I'd really like? - Oh, I do indeed,
But falling off the wagon may not be the best option
At this point.
- No, no, what?
- We're just asking because we're worried about you.
- I'm not drinking.
- How do we not end up with our brains scrambled
Or whatever new way to die there could be?
- Well, I mean, look at the bright side.
I'm usually within ten feet of you,
So whatever terrible thing happens to you,
Will probably happen to me too.
- Comforting.
[both panting]
- What is this guy, a jewel thief or a marathoner?
- If the artifact let the thief
Walk into a jewelry store and vanish,
Then why isn't he vanishing now?
- Maybe he can't activate it on the run,
Or maybe it doesn't do what Artie thinks it does.
[cell phone rings] That's kelly.
I told her I'd call to discuss the weekend.
I totally forgot.
Whoa.
Hello.
- Ah, careful, just don't damage
The one thing that kelly's looking forward to.
- Nah, little Pete's made of steel.
You go right, I'll go left.
- Leena, this one is ready to be shelved.
- A tin of sardines?
- Yes, it was part of the shackleton expedition.
They were trapped in the ice, you know, for two years.
They still had the good sense not to open that.
- Had the sardines gone bad?
- Very bad.
[computer beeping]
- Artie, I-I just found an anomaly.
Uh, survey says that insurance v.P.S in hartford
Are donating big bucks to charity,
And it doesn't compute.
- It's not an anomaly. It's a tax write-off.
- Yeah, but these guys gave away 50% of their bank accounts.
I mean, the most they donated before is 1%.
That's a difference of 49--
- I can subtract 1 from 50.
- That's why you're the boss. - Hartford.
- Artie, Artie, that could be a robin hood artifact.
- Yes, it could.
And the prize for finding a case
Is a spin around the Warehouse
In steve mcqueen's motorbike?
- No, but try a free trip to hartford,
Because Pete and Myka are on the trail
Of a vanishing jewel thief in denver.
So you and I will do this investigation.
- You and I? Really?
- Yeah.
- Well, I mean, I haven't had a lot of time in the field,
And you're-- - I'm what?
- Uh, nothing.
That was the end of my sentence.
- Pack, 'cause we're leaving right away.
Where are my sunglasses?
- [sighs] this is why I pimped your specs.
Just tap the ends of the glasses together
To complete the circuit.
[beeping]
- Oh.
[beeping continues]
Ha.
[chuckles]
Brava.
That is, uh, very well done. - Well, we're a team.
Claudia and Artie.
"clartie." "artia"?
- Pack. - Yeah.
- [groaning]
- Pete!
- I got the bag! You get him!
- [groans]
- Secret service!
What happened?
- Asian guy...
Went out that window.
- What is with this guy and windows?
- Hey. Are you all right?
- Hey, Pete, this way! [groans]
- Got it covered.
- Whoa.
Oh, ow. Oh, ow.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Ow, further than I thought.
- We lost him.
- Ow, but I bet we got the artifact.
- Well, let's take a look at it, then.
Jeez, where's the drummer and the fife?
- I just hurt my knee, okay? And my shoulder.
And I'm probably gonna have a huge bruise on my--
What is that?
- That is the world's smallest purple violin.
- Oh.
You know, one day you're gonna make some lucky guy
A very sarcastic wife.
- Ah.
- Half lion, half eagle.
- A griffin. - I know.
- Well, did you know that in chinese mythology
They were used to guard treasure?
But somehow this one helps people steal treasure
And then make a clean getaway.
- Oh, hey, speaking of,
Now that the mission is accomplished,
You can go to your high-school reunion
And see some of your old friends.
[both cheer sarcastically]
You did--you did have friends in high school, right?
- Oh, as a matter of fact, kurt smoller,
Who is the captain of the football team,
Emailed me and invited me personally.
- Wow, you and a football captain, huh?
- Yeah, yeah, we hung out.
Okay, I tutored him in math.
- [chuckles] well, that's perfect.
Now you can go back and show big, fat kurt smoller
That smart girls grow up pretty.
- Fine, I will go.
- Excellent. - [sighs]
- Now let's bag old, uh, kathy griffin there,
Shall we?
[both chuckle]
Ready? - Yep.
Nothing to it.
- And now for two days,
We get to pretend we're normal.
- Leena.
[echoing] Leena?
Pete!
I have a good name.
Hey, Leena. - Hey, Pete.
- Wow, I didn't know the Warehouse
Had a canned-food aisle.
Ooh, red herrings, huh?
Bet that case was really hard to solve.
- Did you hurt your leg?
- I did.
I, uh, twisted it nabbing the griffin,
Which I put on Artie's desk.
I didn't see him or Claudia.
- They're in hartford on a mission.
Pete, put that back.
That's the original can of worms.
- All right, well, 3:00 on a friday,
So I'm calling it.
I will see you on monday.
- Take care of that leg.
And you should stay in bed all weekend.
- My plan exactly.
Ow, ow, ow.
- I think that the donation is suspicious, that's all.
- I've done nothing wrong.
I gave money to fund free clinics across the country.
That's a good thing.
- Yeah, it's a good thing,
If you did it of your own free will,
But I get a feeling that your wife
Wasn't too thrilled with that decision.
- Well, what makes you think that?
Okay, she was upset with my sudden generosity,
But that's because she didn't understand why I did it.
- Why did you do it?
- I don't have to answer to you or my wife.
- Is there another woman?
- No.
There's only one woman for me.
- Okay.
Claudia, I think that we could be dealing
With a home-wrecking artifact.
Two of the v.P.S have filed for divorce.
- Oh, make that three.
The v.P. Of product operations
Just called off his engagement.
- You got that off the internet?
- Social networking, but old school.
Teri the receptionist is chatty.
- Hansen's. So if, uh, lewis calls--
- Listen, aside from these donations,
What else do these truehart executives
Have in common?
- Well, one thing.
I cross-checked their recent credit card charges.
Hansen's bar showed up on all three expense accounts.
- Can you pull up the receipts?
- Observe.
- Okay.
Well, each of these guys met with the same person.
- You know that how?
- Because look, on each receipt,
Apple mojito.
Are any of these truehart executives not affected?
- John donley.
Oh, wait. Oh, pickles!
That was just him with teri. We should go warn him.
- No, no, no, we should track him,
'cause he could be the mojito drinker.
See if you can hack into the garage cameras--
- Hey, teri.
John say where he was headed?
- Hansen's bar for a drink with a client.
You should try it.
They have the best happy-hour clam bar.
- You feel like clams?
- I feel a little clammy, yes. - Yeah, okay.
- Let...Me...
Just...Say...
T.G.I.F.
Hey, sorry about the knee--
Kind of, you know, limits my moves a little.
- No complaints,
Unless you were faking it
So I had to do most of the work.
- Why--
Why don't women ever believe me?
- Let's not get into that.
Don't worry.
We won't go dancing tonight.
- Good...
'cause there's nothing I want that isn't right here
In this bed.
- Go, scorpions!
[laughing]
- Megan. - Wait, let me guess.
I have no idea.
- Myka Bering.
- Myka...
Great.
Okay, so tonight's cocktail party plus a room
Is $120...
Unless of course you plan to hook up with someone
And don't need the room.
- [chuckles] I'll take the room.
So, um, is, um...
Kurt smoller here yet?
- Right over there.
[pop music]
♪
Isn't it disgusting?
He's in better shape and has more hair
Than he did in high school.
- Yeah.
- Oh, come on, give us a smile.
- Just take the picture.
- There's the apple mojito.
- [sighs] we're dealing with a femme fatale.
- I thought you were interested
In group insurance, miss andrews,
And if you're buying, I'm selling.
But if you're selling, I'm not buying.
- You haven't heard the whole pitch.
- I've heard enough.
I'm a happily married man.
- And john's reaching for his briefcase.
Now he's walking out.
- Okay, I'm gonna follow him.
You stay here. - Whoa, flag on the play.
Now he's heading back to her.
- You fascinate me.
[pop music]
♪
- Excuse me.
Could I get another vodka tonic, please?
- Vodka tonic?
That's a grown-up drink.
- Kurt.
- Myka Bering,
The algebra girl? - Yeah.
- I'm glad you could make it.
- Really?
Well, you know, I-I mostly came
Because of that nice email that you sent me.
- Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
Uh, megan sent those out.
We're co-chairs.
- Ah.
So you two still a couple?
- No, not since senior prom.
I think once you see somebody vomit that much
For that long...
It changes everything. - [chuckles]
Well, maybe we should catch up sometime.
- Yeah, well, you want to join us for a drink?
I mean, you remember the guys--
Royboy and gabers and phil.
- Yeah, I-I remember them.
Maybe later.
- Maybe later.
♪
- Okay, what the hell?
- Well, she must be using some kind of seduction artifact.
There's so many that it could be--
Valentino's cigarette,
Helen of troy's cuff bracelet.
You know, jfk had a--
He had a tie pin that drove women--
What the hell are you doing?
- I'm setting an alarm, in case there's any activity
In john's bank account.
- Very good idea.
[electricity crackling]
- Whoa.
You've still got some kick in you, huh?
What was that about?
[keys clacking]
- So, uh, sure you don't want a bowl of cereal?
- Mm-mm. Just another bowl of you.
- Ooh.
[pop music]
♪
- Hey, I'll have another one.
♪
[dramatic music]
- [groans]
♪
- [groaning]
[pop music]
♪
- [gasps]
[breathing heavily]
- Whoa.
[cell phone rings]
- Hello, is this Pete?
- Whoa.
Well, I-I'm not sure.
I mean, is this, uh, Myka?
- I don't know.
I-I look like Pete,
But I don't feel like Pete.
- You feel like me, right?
I-I mean, like...
Myka.
- Pete...
What the hell happened?
- Uh...
Jeez, I-I don't know.
I would say we, uh...
Switched bodies.
- Pete?
- Oh, yeah, we definitely switched bodies.
- Pete, get your hands off my breasts.
- Myka, how'd you know that?
- Because you're still you, and I'm still me,
Even though we're in different bodies.
Okay, we got to figure--ow!
- Myka, what is it?
- You really did hurt your knee.
- Okay, this body whammy
Is definitely artifact-related.
I mean, I saw a flash of the griffin.
- Me too, Pete.
Okay, now, we've got to get back to the Warehouse.
- Here's your drink, miss.
- Hold on.
Hey, pal, uh, how many of those have I had?
- This'll be four.
- Ah.
Holy crap.
Myka, listen, I drank three...
[sniffs]
I drank three vodka tonics.
- No, no, no, Pete.
I drank three vodka tonics.
- Okay, so y-you feel my knee pain,
And I feel your booze buzz.
- Oh, my god, Pete, I am so sorry.
I would've had juice if I'd have known
We were gonna switch bodies.
- This is gonna be tough to explain
At my next a.A. Meeting.
- Promise me you won't drink any more.
- Don't worry, I remember this feeling,
And it doesn't end well.
- And don't drive, okay?
You're a bad enough driver already.
I'll come get you. It's not that far.
- Who's that on the phone?
- Pete.
- Hey, is that kelly?
- Myka.
I mean, it's my-- my partner, Myka.
It's the girl.
Myka, hi, uh, hmm, yes,
I will go to the office
To pick up the file.
I'll be there in about three hours, okay?
And in the meantime, don't do anything that I wouldn't do,
And I mean that.
- Hey, the same goes for you.
- Kelly, I got to go.
- Now?
But we were gonna spend the whole weekend together.
- I know.
I'm, uh--you know, the I.R.S. Never sleeps.
So, um, I'll be back as soon as I can.
- May I remind you that you still owe me one?
Why don't we even out the score before you leave?
- Oh, gosh.
Uh, no, no, I--
No, I'm sorry.
I-I wish I could, sweetie...
Pie...
Cake.
But I just wouldn't be able to...
Concentrate.
- Oh.
Okay.
Fine.
Go.
- Sorry.
Mwah.
I'll--I'll call you from the road.
And it's not like I'm a guy
Saying I'll call you.
I mean it.
- Okay.
- Oh, my god, I have got to put a shirt on.
Bye.
- What have I said about the rockies all season?
It all comes down to--
- Pitching.
Yep.
Runs don't matter.
The rocks can't win without the bullpen.
- Exactly what I was gonna say.
- Mm-hmm. - Let me get you a chair.
- Hey, hey, hey. Too slow.
[laughter]
Anyway, with de la rosa and jimenez,
You have strength--
Strength on the, uh-- [clears throat] on the mound.
But depth?
Man, I don't think so.
- Clearly she knows more than you guys.
- Ooh, anyone want hot wings?
Hey, sam, wing us. [clears throat]
- Did it go through?
- It's done.
[computer chirps]
- Well, looky that.
He just marked a $3 million chunk of bonds
To sell when the market opens.
- And she's sending him away. - Why would she do that?
- Because she got what she wanted.
I'm going in.
But first, precautions...
To neutralize any tainted cigarette smoke.
This should block any pheromone-related
Or perfume-borne substances.
And just to be safe,
These are in-ear noise cancelers
That will void
Any kind of siren-related artifacts,
And that should be that.
Cover me.
Pardon me, miss, I'm a federal agent.
And I know that you somehow
Forced executives from truehart
To donate to free clinics, and before you deny it,
We just traced some activity on john donley's bank account.
- That's some pickup line.
- Something has entered your life
That's giving you power over men.
I know that.
And I want to know what that thing is,
Because you've been abusing that power, haven't you?
- I'm not the bad guy here.
In fact, once you get to know me,
I'm actually quite nice.
- Oh, your charms aren't gonna work on me, lady.
Sorry.
- You sure you don't see something you like?
- No, I'm here on business.
It's time you start answering my questions.
It's done.
- That's why you're the master.
Did you get the artifact? - No, no, she's clean.
Let's go.
- Hold on.
So, Artie, what's our next move? Who's our next suspect?
- I told you, the investigation is over.
- Well, those men gave their fortunes away.
- For a good cause. - You stay away from her.
- What? - She's mine.
- Artie!
- Back off, donley. She loves me now.
- What? Artie?
- I am gonna tesla him until he is impotent.
- Artie, stop. She's gotten to you.
- Just stay out of this.
- I'm taking you down.
- Guys, listen. - Claudia, get out of my way.
- Hey, that's her car.
Lauren!
Lauren, wait for me! Lauren!
- Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
Call 911!
- Oh, my god.
She should be more careful. She could get hurt.
- [sighs, belches] - Seriously, though,
You--you actually like the three stooges?
- Yeah.
- Who's your favorite joe?
- Well, I would have to go with besser
Over de rita,
Although nobody can hold a candle to curly.
"nyuk, nyuk, nyuk. A wise guy, eh?"
[rolls tongue]
[chuckles]
[barking]
[laughs]
- Okay, don't take this the wrong way,
But until tonight, I had no idea
You were so much fun.
- Dude, until tonight, I wasn't that much fun.
- Okay, there's something special happening here, right?
Do you feel this?
- You don't know the half of it.
Dude.
What the hell?
- I thought you wanted me to.
- No! Jeez!
Crap.
I'm a chick.
- Pete!
- I got to go.
Ugh.
- Okay.
O-okay, Pete, Pete, Pete.
Just let me do it.
- Jeez, I haven't had a drink in eight years.
The buzz lasts a little bit longer than I remember.
- Oh, is that why you kissed my high-school crush?
- Ow, I didn't kiss him. He kissed me.
- Wait, kurt likes me?
- No, he likes me.
He thinks you're a giganto-nerd.
- Right.
We'll fix this.
- Whoa, me first, I gotta take a leak.
- Don't forget to sit down.
And don't touch anything.
- Dark reeling feeling...
- Artie, I just found something huge.
- What rhymes with "adorable"?
- Deplorable.
- No.
More--more able to-- passionate.
- Stop writing poetry. - No, I can't stop.
- Hey, I need your brain.
I just found out lauren's brother died
Six months ago of liver disease.
His request for a transplant
Was denied by his insurance.
Do you want to guess who the provider was?
- Truehart.
- Yes. - So it was a revenge thing.
And who can blame her?
- We can! - No.
- Apparently the money's not enough.
She wants their lives. - You know, when I see her,
I'll ask her to stop wanting their lives,
And she'll do it because she's sweet.
- Holy gams, batman, that's how she's doing it.
- "rangel"? - Artie, look at this.
You touched lauren's leg. John donley touched it too.
- I think "adorable" is better. - Look at that.
- Don't show me another man groping my lauren.
- Oh, that man's in the hospital
With five broken ribs, and you could be next.
What can you tell me about lauren's leg?
- That the only thing that stops it going on forever
Is the floor.
Silky smooth and subtly soft.
Ooh, I like "subtly soft."
Silky smooth.
- Ah, so maybe it's a body cream
That she's using to turn men into stalkers.
- Stalker...
No.
Would a stalker go to her house in the middle of the night
To read her poetry?
- Oh, Artie, you can't go over there...
Without a shower.
You're all stinky from artifact hunting.
- Oh, yes, it has been a long day.
- Gamy, right?
- Take a shower, yeah, but not a cold one.
- Well, Leena's looking into it,
But what do we do in the meantime?
- Let's go over the griffin.
There could be something.
All right.
Just--
A metal flap.
That's it.
Is it?
- Yes. Yes, it means it's--it's a bookend
And not a statue.
- And bookends come in pairs.
- And if there's another one, the thief probably has it.
- He could be anywhere by now.
- No, uh, wait, Leena said
That when she put the griffin down
It rotated.
[gasps]
- It--it looks like-- like it's pointing,
Like--like a compass.
- Well, maybe it'll lead us to its mate
In some dualistic attraction.
Come on, let's hit the road.
Oh, and could you change out of my dress?
I just bought that today.
- Jeez.
[cell phone rings]
[gasps]
Oh, that's--that's kelly.
- Oh, shoot.
I said I'd call her.
- Aha.
So it's not just a guy thing.
- Hi, kelly.
Yeah, it's--it's me...
Pete.
Um...
Hey, you know, I-I know that I said that I'd call you,
But I forgot.
And, uh, so I want to make--
I want to make it up to you with this promise.
- What? No promises.
No, Myka.
Myka, no promises.
- Uh, yes, let me--
Let me get someplace private.
- Fresh as a daisy
And a little less formal
And slightly slimming.
- And all you need is your hat.
- Ooh, good idea.
All right-- what are you doing?
No, Claudia! - Knock, knock.
Just like old times.
- Claudia!
- It's for your own protection, Artie.
I'm going to lauren's to do what Warehouse agents do--
Get the artifact.
- If you hurt lauren, I will hunt you down.
- Mm-hmm.
Pwned.
- God, how can you stand this hair?
I just want to cut it off.
- You do that, and I will shave your entire body.
- Ugh. - Use the hair tie.
It's on my right arm.
- So--I just thought it was an ugly bracelet.
So what do--what do I do?
- Turn.
- [sighs] so what'd you promise kelly?
- Well, you will find out.
Oh, my god, your hands are so clumsy.
- Ow!
- There.
Look at that.
- What is it doing?
- Hey.
You have the other griffin.
- You were right. There are two of 'em.
Security guard.
You and the thief were working together.
- Wrong again.
We are together.
And we've been looking all over town for you.
- I really don't like where this is going.
- I need the other griffin now.
- No! First you show us--
- There's no time.
- Myka, grab the griffin.
Whoa, I'm me again.
Myka, where are you?
- I'm back to myself.
- This just got easier.
- Wrong. He's the nice one.
- So am I.
- Now we're sharing one body too.
Pete?
Pete, we have got to fix this.
- Yeah, tell me about it.
- Oh, hi. I work with Artie.
- Get out of here. - No can do.
Two men are in the hospital, and you're still on the loose.
- That wasn't my fault.
- I saw you hit john donley with your car.
- That wasn't me driving. - Then who was it?
- Me.
- Told you to get out of here.
- [groaning]
Sharing the same body now. Great.
Should make Myka do this.
[grunts]
- Really?
Just when I could've used the upper-body strength.
[knock at door]
[breathing heavily]
- Hey, you're still up.
- Kurt.
This is a really bad time for a booty call.
- What makes you think it's a booty call?
- Well, what else would it be?
- Busted.
Can I come in?
- No, no, you can't.
And just believe me when I say it's not you, it's me.
- Myka, I promise, I just want to talk.
- The lady said good night.
- Wait, Myka didn't tell me she was involved.
- You went for it, man.
That's cool. Now get lost.
- Look, man, you really don't have to do this.
I'm not after you.
- I'm not taking any chances
Until lauren and I are on that plane.
- What plane?
- One that's taking us far away, my love.
- I don't want to go anywhere with you, howard.
- You do.
You're just distracted by all these people.
- Is that why you handcuffed me?
- I won't allow any of these other men
To steal you away.
I'm gonna go pack your bags,
And then we'll get out of here.
- I am so sorry.
I had no idea these guys would turn violent.
- Yeah, well, just let me think about this for a minute.
- If Artie is a federal agent, won't he come after you?
- He would...
Except I kind of handcuffed him in his hotel room.
Fastest-working karma ever.
- Karma. Yeah, that's how this whole thing got started.
I wanted that insurance company to pay back to others
What they took from me.
I never wanted anyone hurt.
- So how are you doing it?
I mean, it's something to do with your legs, right?
- Stockings.
I don't know why or how they work,
But when men touch them, they'll do anything I ask.
- Which is cool...
You know, until they become obsessed stalkers,
And you can't control them.
Where are the stockings now?
- On a rod in the bathroom.
- Oh.
Right.
- Like I don't know how to improvise an electromagnet.
I was doing this
When macgyver was still trapped in his crib.
Now come to papa.
Ah.
Oh, yes, come to papa.
Yes, yes.
Come, baby. Come, come, come.
Yes.
Okay.
And this is only one of 23 ways
That I could have escaped.
- [groans] I don't feel so good.
- We can help.
Just tell us what to-- - The griffins.
- I got them. They're right here.
- Quick-- this is bad.
[groans]
- Just tell us what to do.
- You... - Just...
[both groan, scream]
- Oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, I sure wish he'd...
- Finished that sentence.
- All set. By this time tomorrow,
We'll be relaxing in a villa near lisboa.
And as for you...
- Lauren, come on, say something.
- Howard, don't hurt her.
- I have no choice. She would get between us.
And I can't allow anything to come between us.
You?
- You?
- [groaning]
- Lauren, are you all right?
- Yes, but what did you do to him?
- Temporary blindness.
This is a shard from the lens
Of the pharos lighthouse, alexandria.
And there's the phoenix.
Oh, so many things that I could show you.
- Artie, thank god. He was about to shoot me and--
- Claudia.
That prism was meant for you.
She thought that she could outsmart me,
But I've got moves she's never even dreamt of.
We're out of here.
- No, no, first unlock Claudia.
- Unlock the girl that tried to come between us?
Never.
Let's go.
- Leena, you're out last hope.
We just learned the hard way
That two things can't occupy the same space.
- Okay, I looked into split personalities,
Which led me to robert louis stevenson,
Who wrote dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde.
Going through his notes,
I found a picture of him in his study.
- Can we move this along?
I'm starting to get a really...
- Bad vibe.
So that's what vibes feel like.
Huh.
- On the shelf behind him,
There's two bookends.
- Griffins?
- No, one is an eagle.
And the other is a lion.
It seemed like such a coincidence--
- Maybe the bookends on the mantel
Are in an inactive state.
What if the heads can be switched,
And the duality... - Could be reversed?
We need to make the eagle and the lion whole again.
I'll call you back. - Okay.
- It worked.
- All right. Come on, birdie.
- You'll have to kill me.
Nothing but a bullet will stop me
From trying to be with lauren.
- Artie, don't.
- Lauren, go get the stockings, now!
- I know exactly how you feel, howard.
- Then you know I'll follow her to the ends of the earth.
- As would I.
Get on your knees. I'll make it quick.
- Artie, stop this! You're not a cold-blooded killer!
Lauren!
- Come on, little birdie.
- Got it.
- Oh, yeah, that's 'cause I loosened it for you.
Put the eagle head on the eagle.
- Okay.
[both groaning]
- Just get it over with.
- What do I do with them?
- Put a run in them. Use your nails, anything.
- Then the lion head on the...
- Oh, my god.
Howard, are you okay?
- I'm not sure.
My eyes hurt, ow.
Oh, my god, I've got to get home to my wife.
- That was too close.
- In so many ways.
So I guess we can't even pretend
To be normal, huh?
- Normal...
Not really in our wheelhouse.
- [chuckles]
Both: Good job.
- [laughs]
- Hey, look, I found the artifact.
- Where did you get those?
- My great-grandfather's estate.
- More details.
You turned several of us into blabbering fools.
I'd like to know how.
Who was your great-grandfather?
- He was a diplomat during world war I.
They were in a box with a card.
"souviens-toi de moi, mon amour."
- "remember me, my love."
World war I? - Yeah.
- And the card-- was it signed "margaretha"?
- Yes.
How did you know that?
- Margaretha zelle.
Otherwise known as mata hari.
- The spy?
- And a world-class seductress.
There's no way to tell whether they worked on her
Or she worked on them.
Either way, they worked.
- I need to call the hospital,
Find out if john donley's okay.
I hope he doesn't have his company's insurance.
- And "clartie" saves the day.
- Kiddo, I want to thank you
For focusing on your job and trying to protect me.
- Well, I learned from the master.
You know, the keys are over there.
- From here, I can count
Eight ways that you can escape.
- Okay, look, I'm really sorry I--
- The spatula, make that nine.
Claudia...
Knock, knock.
- Oh.
Open.
- Then the thief walks into the jewelry store, right?
Asks the clerk to see something pricey.
The clerk turns around.
Poof, he turns into the other one.
I got to say, it's a pretty cool plan.
- Yeah, until they exploded, it was perfect.
- Now the griffins are back in their dormant state?
- Yes, the eagle and the lion.
- And the Myka and the Pete.
- Hey, um, I, uh...
I'll be right back.
[pop music]
♪
Hey.
- Hey.
Where's your boyfriend?
- Oh, I don't have one.
- All right, obviously you're seeing someone.
- You know what, kurt? Nothing--
Nothing is really obvious about me.
And I just-- I wanted to tell you
That, um, I'm not who I seemed to be before.
- Okay, well, whoever that was,
She was a lot of fun.
- I really enjoyed talking to you too.
Do you want to--
Do you want to keep in touch?
- Definitely.
Would it be okay if I kissed you good-bye?
- So okay.
♪
You know what? I just really have to ask you--
Which kiss was better, this one or--or the one before?
- Uh, honestly?
- Yeah. - This one.
The one before,
You burped in the middle of it.
- Bye, kurt.
Email you.
- Ta-da.
- Rose petals...
And candles...
And balloons.
- And, uh, chocolates...
As promised.
- Who needs candy?
I want you.
- Mmm.
So--so everything's okay between us?
- Are you kidding?
What you said on the phone
Is the sweetest thing a guy has ever said to me.
- I bet you don't even remember the exact words.
- Oh, I remember.
No man has ever understood me like that.
I'm so glad that--
That you're...
You.
- Me too.
But--but--but, uh, you know what would be really fun?
Oh-oh.
- Oh! [giggles]
- Yeah, yeah.
Why don't you say back to me
What I said on the phone?
And then I'll grade you for accuracy.
Or--or not.